Support Team Pt 1

I got back from the Greenbelt Festival a few days ago and now I have had some sleep I feel I can put some words to my thoughts. The Festival is one of my annual highlights and as described by a friend is an Oasis in the year. I can clearly understand what he means.

For those that don't know what Greenbelt is please feel free to check out its site at http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/
In brief it is a music and arts Festival with a Christian ethos that takes place every year and is currently at Cheltenham Racecourse. It brings together people from all areas, faiths and ways of life. It also brings together some very odd people!

I don't get to see much of the music and arts part of the Festival as I tend to work some very unsociable hours as a Steward, these hours being 7pm till approx 3am from the Thursday to Monday nights. We patrol the campsite and main festival areas in teams of 2 and are directed by our team leaders. Other than this we are fairly autonomous and able to deal with any situation we see and are able to call for back up as and when appropriate. We love more than anything for the weekend to be quiet as it usually means that everyone is safe and everything is going well. I have yet to have a totally quiet Festival! It does however give a great sense of satisfaction in helping everyone on site, from Greenbelters to fellow Stewards to pushing Ambulances out of the mud! I will tell you some of the stories of Greenbelt in another post sometime but for the moment I want to tell you about the people I work with, the fellow members of the Support Team - some of the best people I know.

Let me paint some word pictures to try and describe these people, oh by the way - we nearly all have silly names!

Merlin - Team Leader 1 - In all the time I have known Merlin I have never seen him lose his cool or get anywhere close to it. Believe me he has had provocation! Last year at the Organic Beer Tent for example! Merlin is a Vet - or maybe not - I think he so far beyond being called a Vet that real Vets have disowned him as working for the Dark Side.... Merlin is a FANTASTIC driver, so long as you don't bring your drinks into the 4 x 4 with you - it's like a ride in Disney land all by itself! Merlin is a Conservative - but don't let that put you off cos he blogs about it as well and most of his readers are left of centre and let him have it!

Zippie - Team Leader 2 - Mr Spongebob! Hates Pink and likes the colour Yellow and maybe Orange, so that he can be seen in a crowd! Is the MASTER of the quick comeback on a theme, he can run for ages on a pun on any given topic with spontaneity and timing! Zippie runs his own business as a Steward Manager / Stewarding Consultant and just loves DIY - although he did force me to make wonky shelves with an over sized meccano set! Never let Zippie drive the 4 x 4 - thats Merlins job - there are reasons why....... Zippie gives us are Teams and almost always has Lemming in Team number 1 - just so that he doesn't get confused! Zippie sings badly to Queen but as a mate he is fantastic - even if he does take the mick out of my accent - I have no idea why!

Doodah - As a brother to me. Quick with his wit and a very clever mind and my favourite of the mentors in the team. I have never forgotten his advice to "never lose your wingman". If you see Doodah running you need to watch out - its a rare occurrence and the Ops Team have not yet learned that it can mean many things - not just that he is running to the loo after a curry! Speaking of Curry - he is a fantastic cook, or is that chef? Whenever I have had a meal made by Doodah I have enjoyed it. Doodah is built "Welsh" in that he is short and rotund but never let appearances put you off, he is also one of the most loyal, helpful and funny people you will ever meet. Listen to this man ( unless you are Sweetcorn, Cola, Miriam, Me, and almost anyone else you can mention when he is trying to tell us something silly )

Guilty - As charged M'Lud! - An IT techie by day who does things with computers that I cant even begin to understand but are very clever. By night he becomes Super thief and handler of stolen goods! He even ate the evidence so that he could not be arrested by the Authorities!
Guilty likes to laugh at my map reading skills and sense of direction although I really did like the M6 Toll Road and even he agrees that it is a very nice road! Guilty has the dubious distinction as one of the only people who believes he can say no to Squeak with ease - I have yet to see this with my own eyes. Guilty drives Golf Buggies and is grumpy in the morning before his coffee. He loves having debates with Lemming. He is phobic of Morris Dancers - sissy!

Squeak - hmmmmm what can I say? A 6 year old in an adults body? The ability to make children cry? The inability to make good judgment calls when listening to Doodah and accuse children of being large equine animals and sitting down on duty and being caught. I have never known anyone be more unlucky when it has come to judgment calls such as trying to bounce me onto the ground and landing on the ground herself or prancing around the parade area thinking she was unobserved when in fact............... Squeak is really very intelligent but tends to ignore this important fact during the Festival, nevertheless Squeak remains one of my favourite people and someone I happily confide in and trust when looking for opinions. I am both equally glad to say I would BE one of her tenants and to say that I am NOT one of her tenants!

Becky aka Cola - Cola is one of the new girls on the team and had the pleasure? of working with me for 2 nights and we both had a great time demonstrating our ballet skills, picking ourselves off the floor, playing hangman and discussing the colour Orange. She wears hats better than almost anyone I have met and just about any hat will suit her - try it and find out! Cola also makes great funny faces and can dance Salsa very well in the Helicopter field, but usually needs music funnily enough. Did I tell you Cola was also very pretty? Yes she is. In fact the only negative point I can say about her is that she almost killed/poisoned/murdered me under instructions from Guilty and Squeak. She licked a cola bottle and gave it to me to eat and gave me all her germs!!!! I nearly died! Bad Cola Bottle - BAD GIRL!!!!!

Lemming - Trade Unionist Liberal with some very firm political views - don't get him started on one of the great heroines of British Politics Margaret Thatcher! pssst he doesn't like her.
Lemming is a smoker which makes him a minority in the team and which has led to the insult "Lemming Stinks" needless to say he doesn't like this..... Lemming is always in Support Team 1 , whether this is for his convenience or for Zippie's I really can't say but the look on Merlin's and Lemmings faces was priceless when Zippie got it wrong this year! If you are in trouble at work, if you need an expert opinion, Lemming is the man to know. Gentle, kindhearted and great with "youth" Lemming is one of the experienced hands on the Team. Don't worry however if you cannot reach him on the radio - he never listens to the radio!!!


Well thats enough for now - We do have more Team members but I will save those for another post!
Till then ponder this ..................... how many seconds are there in a year?

Ants!

Right, the first post seemed to come out ok and now that I have fiddled with a few things I seem to be all set. On with the show!!!

Ants! I ruddy hate em! Thats a bit of a random statement I know but I have had a few encounters with ants the past few days - lots and lots of them!

The story goes that my Father is doing up his Shed/Garage and that at the back of it was this crumbly old work bench that was fixed to the wall and had some sort of polystyrene ( spellcheck someone! ) backing. Anyway - its rotten - AND it has ants!!! a whole colony of them. Lots of ant spray later there are STILL ants and there is more and more wood to get off the wall and I am the one doing it because I fit better in the narrow opening and as much as Father wants to, he is not as supple as he used to be. Long and the short of it is that I got covered in ants! I hate the things all horrible and crawly so I gave them a good slapping as a man should do - Orrible things! I was straight in the shower to get any off me that might have lingered but I still itch slightly even now just thinking about them - I wonder if it is contagious? Are you sat there with arms or legs itching? Have they got into your pants? Are you sitting comfortably?

Let me know if the ants thing communicates itself across cyberspace - we might try cyber yawning next!

Anyway - thats my rant - I hate ants!

Thoughts from a Saturday morning

Well, how random am I??? A Blog? My ramblings on paper? on the Interweb or wherever? Who'd have thunk? ------ just how many question marks can I get into the space of a few lines?

I don't quite know what decided me to write a Blog and what my motivation might have been. Maybe its personal and maybe I just need to get things out in the open and allow people to comment. I dont really know as I am speaking hypothetically here. Anyhow - you will have to pardon my style - or not pardon as the case may be - as I might get a bit choppy and over use some ?s and some - s just to be "punchy". I am sure you will get the hang of it. If you get the hang of my sense of humour then please let me know as I would quite like to understand it myself.

Well lets start this at approx 12.45 Saturday am when I am sat here at my computer contemplating Facebook, Human Pets and my various human and cyber friends that are willing to talk to me. I kind of figure this might be a good idea to keep them all in some idea of how I am feeling and maybe for others give an insight into the life of me an average odd bloke in his 30s. For those who might stumble on this blog from elsewhere I had better explain who I am.

I am the Cap'n.
I live in South Wales
Recently separated from a 14 year marriage and rebuilding my life away from Manchester
Also known in some circles as "Handbag"
I go to the Salvation Army and this is where I worship and play in the Band and sing in the Songsters
I play the Trombone by the way - you can decide how well I do that
I am a Pirate

Thats kind of a brief synopsis of who I am, hopefully you will learn some more as we go along. I hope you like it- if you dont tough! I am a Pirate and can raid yer women and pillage yer township!!!

Anyway, thats enough for an introduction. More posts on their way.........